I walk alone
by SpikesLoverRomanceObsessionx
Summary: With his father in Azkaban, he's no longer the Prince of Slytherin; the whole school shuns him and we see a new side of Draco, filled with angst. Maybe a oneshot or might carry on to something more waiting for insipration be nice! R
1. Chapter 1

I Walk Alone

Genre: Angst/ General

Rating K

AN. This is a response to a challenge I found on  Hope my spellings ok, first Harry Potter fic hope you like it R&R

Character(s): Draco M

Disclaimer; I don't own anything… I wish I did Draco & co are owned by JK. Rowling lucky woman!!

I sit on my own, disgraced and shunned. Father's in Askaban, I can't bear to think of what he's going through in there, but he's strong he's a Malfoy. I take such pride in that name in heritage but right now it seems so worthless.

I'm almost lost in my depression, that I seem so lost in thoughts I feel numb until the jolt of the train wakes me to the real world, I stare out of the window across the vast countryside so alive and green it makes me feel even more alone than ever. What am I without my farther and his title, no longer the Slytherin Prince, I no longer have my 'loyal' friends beside me laughing at my witty jokes and asking me questions about dark magic and death eaters.

My thoughts lead me to St. Potter, and the reason why I hate him so much. No matter how many times I tell myself it's because he a muggle lover I can no longer deny it's because I'm jealous of him. Of his fame, of his loyal friends and because he's truly loved , of course my mother and farther loved me but not in the same great way they desired power and to follow the Dark Lord.

I sometimes wonder how different life would be if Potter had shook my hand that day, instead of standing up for that filth Weasley.

Do I really want to become a Death Eater? I ask myself and the answer if I think about it is NO, but I've got no choice have I? Fathers one and I'm expected to follow in his footsteps.

True I hate muggles and mudbloods. But am I capable of torturing or even killing one? Could I really become a murderer?

Since farther is in prison I'm the man around the house. I've got to take care of mother, if she's not shouting and crying she's cold and indifferent to me it's only because she misses farther but all the same I wish she'd try and be strong and move on with life instead of taking it all out on me.

Listen to me self-pitying thoughts, sitting here alone I'm being pathetic and weak that's not the Malfoy way, not the way I was brought up. I was brought up to be strong and proud I'll find some way to get farther back and my friends even though their not real friends their better than no one, Pansy will take me back she loves me…and my money of course but it's better than being cold and alone.

I've decided that I'm not going to sit alone and feel sorry for myself, when I arrive a Hogwarts everyone's going to notice me, walking proudly and holding my head high being strong as I've always been and once again I will become the Slytherin Prince….

The train comes to a halt at the station, grabbing my bag I walk confidently out of the train, I can feel other students staring at me, some of the muttering 'where's Crabb and Golye?' or ' isn't his dad in Askaban?'. But I ignore them because I'm proud of what I am a pureblood Slytherin and nothings going to change that.

A term at Hogwarts begins and it's going to the best ever….


	2. 2 Crying in the dark

Chapter 2 : Crying on the Inside. 

AN/ sorry I haven't updated for a bit my dad stole my laptop, hope you like this chapter which is not like ch1. was all underlined as mentioned in one of the reviews…

R&R tell me what u think.

Disclaimer: no Harry Potter or places etc belong to me their all the fantastic work of a talented author JK. Rowling…have mercy or I shall Crucio you all !!

'Sorry you can't sit there anymore.' Crabbe mumbled dumbly, I opened my mouth briefly in shock and closed it again.

'How dare you I always sit here, if you don't let me sit here I'll…I'll…' A well-built Slytherin with black spiked hair and a mean face then interrupted me, his mean face currently in a frown. 'What? What are going to do Malfoy? Get you're farther on us? Oh yeah your dads in Askaban isn't he? So daddy can't help you, go and sit somewhere else.' The boy sneered.

Gritting my teeth I took a breath to calm down, I hadn't been so angry and humiliated since that mudblood Granger punched me. I glanced once more a Crabbe but he only turned anyway and gave his attention to his pumpkin pie that he was demolishing, I gave up and turning away he strutted to the other side of the table with my head high.

I sat down on a clear piece of bench, suddenly a plate appeared in front of me piled with steaming food. I took a sideways glace at the boy next to me, who had apparently shuffled as far as he could away from my presence, huffing I picked up my fork which I used to shuffle the food on the plate thinking of what a nightmare the common room would be tonight.

I'll probably just go to bed early, but I could also act like nothings happened sit on the sofa as normal of course I'd probably have no one to talk to but I could easily get out one of my new spell books and make myself look busy.

Mrs McGonagall had been appointed the new Head Mistress at Hogwarts, and had just give her first long and boring speech of the year, I wasn't really listening but she said something about remaining loyal, remembering the lost and forgiving the bad and so on. Once that was done we made our way nosily back to our respective common rooms, I walked ahead of everyone in my house I was still Head Boy after all.

I could feel their dirty looks and the mutterings going on behind me but simply walked faster until I reached the portrait, suddenly I panicked I had no idea what the password was, no one had told me I had to hold back my tears that where threatening to spill down my cheeks at any moment.

I heard a voice coming through the crowd, recognised it, it was that same mean looking black haired boy who'd sneered at me before. I turned around and saw him pushing rudely through the bunch of Slytherins .

'Move! Come on get out of my way, what's the hold up?' I saw some of them gesture to me standing there like a fool.

'Oh you again Malfoy, don't you know the password?' he asked me sarcastically grinning to his mates behind him.

'Yes in fact I do know the password I was just thinking.' I replied, it just came out of mouth before I knew what I was saying. They stood there smirks on their faces, some with their arms expectantly waiting for me to say something.

After I stood there for a while in a stupid silence, their patience had worn out.

'Told you he didn't have a clue, he's nothing without his precious farther, come on I know it.' He elbowed me out of the way.

' Dark Snake' the black haired one said clearly and the dungeon door swung open, then the crowd behind him stared rushing into the common room, leaving me standing in the dark cold corner alone, I slumped down to the floor looking to make sure no one was nearby I began to weep hot fresh tears poured from my eyes the it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My father's in prison a known ex-Death Eater, my mothers an emotional wreck, my 'friends' and fellow students either hate me or fear me and I have no one to turn to.

Life was bad and might be better if I was dead and all the pain ended, it was late I shouldn't be in the corridors, oh well actually I can I'm Head Boy as if that makes any difference anymore, maybe they only respected me because of my farther but I'll make them respect me because of me I have to carry on trying there has been enough death and pain. And killing myself would be a waste of life and would make me into the coward that people think I am.

Drying my eye I made my way the boy's toilets to clean myself up, and make sure that signs of my episode weren't visible to others. The corridors where dimly lit by fixtures on the cold stone walls each carrying a faint yellow and orange glow it lighted my mood slightly, as I entered the toilets I looked around to see if I was alone… and I was thankfully. I made my way slowly to the mirrors afraid of what I might look like, then I could see myself in the clear glass my blonde hair was sticking out at odd angle where I'd pushed it back to avoid my face.

I smoothed it down with my hands, and inspected my face. My eye lids where a little swollen and my eyed where red I took a piece of tissue from one of the cubicles and began to wipe me eyes. When I'd finished I looked almost my old self just tired and a little flustered but it was the best that could do.

I just wanted my bed, overall I wanted all of this to have been a nightmare my whole life? No some parts of it had been positive I'd had some happy experiences in my time. These thought cheered me as I walked back towards the dungeons, I was so absorbed by my emotions that I bumped into someone, oh no it was that mudblood Granger.

'Watch where your going Malfoy.' She gave me a look like I was something nasty she's just trodden in. I decided that this was my moment to gain something back if only some of the others of my house where here to witness it.

'Sorry Granger' I sneered 'didn't see you there anyway why are you wandering the corridors at his hour?' that'll show her.

'None of your business ferret face.' She smiled a fake smile and looked directly at me, I couldn't let her see that the name had touched a nerve I'd never lived that event down being made a fool of up and down the sound of mocking laughter, as that impostor chased me around that tree, I raised my eyebrow and looked at her directly as I could thinking of a quick come back.

'Yes no ones forgotten that little event have they? Actually I've thought about a bit and eh actually saw the funny side of it so if you where hoping to hurt me by that remark I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.' This was a lie 'Anyway must get to bed, I'm going to be generous and let this one slip Granger you may not be so lucky next time.'

Ganger looked confused for moment ' Oh yes Mr Malfoy it won't happen again I promise.' She imitated my ex house elf Dobby as she walked pass me and down the corridor as she went round the corner I could swear she whispered something like

'arsehole'.

I shrugged, I had won this round and I hadn't even called her mudblood.

'Dark Snake' the dudgeon door swung open in front of me and worked the courage to step through into the common room which was thankfully nearly empty apart from two small year two girls huddled in the corner with some magazine and occasionally giggling for no apparent reason. One of them glanced at me and whispered something to the girl beside you who looked up and smiled, I gave them a stiff smile back and turned around into a fit of giggles again.

I quickly made my way up the steep stair to my dormitory, I stood at the door and listened I could hear hushed mutters coming from inside. This was the hardest part, I knew the second I entered the room they'd stop and stare at me in silence. Well here it goes I thought I turned the door nob and entered and as I expected they muttering faded until it was silence 'evening' I said to the room.

They all either muttered or grunted some sort of greeting and all said good night to each other and the light were turned out I had to stubble around in the dark until at last I found my usual bed and slowly lowered myself onto it laying position I stretched my arms above me then his myself under the covers, I was asleep and peaceful within five minutes, hoping that tomorrow was the fresh beginning…

Watch out for the next chapter all suggestions welcome…


	3. Hopes and Fears

Chapter 3 

**AN. Hello so this is my third chapter and I hope you like, if u have any suggestions just mention in review. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter it's all JK's**

'Your late Mr. Malfoy, take a seat' Snape droned in his usual unemotional and uncaring manner. As I walked into the dank stone room every head turned towards me, I noticed Granger was sneering at me so where a few others.

'Sorry professor' I drawled, I smirked inwardly to myself I'd sounded like my old self the same proud and confidant young man. Like an automatic reaction I strode to me normal place between Crabbe and Goyle, but then I remembered that they weren't talking to me. Oh and just to add insult to injury that mean faced boy with the black hair was sitting in my seat, how dare he!

I didn't even know what his name was, he was sitting there as bold as anything smirking as Crabbe and Goyle tired to smirk and look nervous at the same time at that moment they looked even more that gormless cave trolls.

I sighed quietly and found an empty seat on the second row, most had now turned back and where either flicking through their spell books or paying attention to Snape's droning voice going on about the importance of quality ingredients.

I sat down took my books and parchment out of my bag, I looked quickly at Granger who was no longer smirking at me but had resumed her classic pose of having her arm sticking up in the air waving frantically and Snape ignoring her until he has no other choice but to relieve her before she exploded.

Having no clue what Snape was on about I turned off gazed over into my own little world. There was so much to think about, how was I going to earn back the respect of the school, how's my farther, how's my mother, how am I going to through life with this bloody dark mark still slapped on my wrist?

So many questions and mixed thoughts going around in my head, making me dizzy –

'Mr Malfoy are you paying attention?' I woke from my day dream to find Snape with a smug look on his face at catching me daydreaming and half the class glancing back at me. 'Sorry sir.' I said sarcastically but he didn't seem to notice and carried on.

The rest of the lesson was a blur of information and writing, I worked furiously with my quill filling my parchment with information like my I was physically present in that dark and cold dungeon but my mind was in a world of it's own.

I'd tried everything during the summer to remove the mark, studied a thousand spell books, mixed and brought many potions but I was still stuck with it. A permanent reminder of what I nearly became.

Break time, another test without Carbbe and Goyle and the rest of my followers. What would I do for twenty minutes?

Whispers through the corridors and nervous glances, 'wasn't he a Death Eater? I heard he's killed over twenty muggles' and so on. Half of them actually believed and the others where just trying to impress the ones that believed it.

Gosh how could they all be so pathetic, didn't they have lives to live?

I thought it best to sit and study some new and interesting books I brought over the summer. It was something to do and was better than sitting and twiddling my thumbs.

So I found a empty stone bench and sat down taking from my bag, a bright purple and silver spell book. It was a new edition in series of defence against the darks arts books, the series didn't have an imaginative title just _Defence Spells Edition 3_.

I was just settling down and opening the brand new book, when I heard some familiar voices from behind, I didn't have to look to know who it was. St. Potter, Mudblood and Weasel. I decided to eavesdrop on them, I sat still and pretended to read.

'Harry you should go and speak to him.' Mudblood.

'Herminone why would Harry want to even look at ferret boy, let alone speak to him?' Weasel.

'I don't know, I mean I still hate him but a civil word wouldn't hurt just to ask him how he's doing even if you don't care.' Mudblood.

Great I thought just bloody lovely, the great ST. Potter's going to do his good deed for day and give me some fake sympathy vote. But what was my resolution it was to gain respect, so I'll have to play nice.

I herd Potters footsteps behind me, I shut my eyes for a brief second and gritted my teeth pretending not to notice him standing there.

'Hi Malfoy…um how are you?' There was little concern in his voice.

I looked up at him as if I'd only just noticed he was standing there, I thought how could I respond to this? I paused for a moment and then I had it. ' Hello Potter, I'm doing alright considering all that's happened and is happening I'm surprised to see you came back to school.' I smiled to myself as I saw Potter's look of shock at how civil I'd answered.

Looking over my shoulder I could see Granger and Wealsley looking over at us, when they saw that I'd noticed they turned away.

'Well I've got to carry on with life, I can't have some victory breakdown anyway I've got to go…uh…see ya.' He said weakly as he made his way back to them.

Bloody scarhead thinking he's so perfect. I shut my book and made my way back into the castle, turning and making my way back to the common room. I was feeling fine not happy but calm and together, I would go into the common room and study, then have my supper and go to bed a little boring but it'd been a tiring first day I had a lot to reflect on.

But it was not to be. That black haired boy who I still didn't know what his name was, was sitting in my place apparently waiting for me. My ex-followers were crowded around him he was smirking. 'Oh hello Malfoy we were just talking about you.' I sneered, I was sick of this nobody walking around like he owed the place, the time had come to act.

'Really? That interesting' I said was sarcasm. 'Who exactly are you?' his smirk faded replaced with confusion ' I mean I've never noticed you, and all of a sudden your replacing me? I mean how did you do it? Some cheap joke about my farther? Well?'

'Oh look poor little boys jealous' he mocked 'shall we get his daddy, oh sorry he's in prison where he belongs.' At that comment I struggled to to keep myself under control, the anger boiled inside of me. Alright my farther wasn't perfect he'd done a lot of evil things but he was still my farther and I still loved him.

'Ok my fathers in prison, he did something wrong and now he's being punished. Why would I be jealous of you anyway I'm just look at your ugly face in mirror will you?' As soon as I'd said it I knew I was in deep trouble. He stood up his face contorted into a look of rage, I knew his nest move so I whipped out my wand ready to fight.

'You want to know my name do you Malfoy? It's Greg Blackthorn and I'm going to be the greatest dark wizard since Voldamourt' A series on gasps and shocked faces followed this statement.

I was sick of words it was time for action. I raised my wand quickly

'Explearmus' I cried he had no time to block and was thrown against the wall. Suddenly as Blackthorn was about to raise his wand in response he hid it again, I however still had my wand raised as Snape entered the common room.

Oh shit I thought.

'What's happening here may I ask?' I didn't even bother to say anything as I knew that no matter what I said I'd was the one in trouble.

Greg had managed to get to his feet, he was shaking a bit as he pointed an accusing finger at me.

'Professor he attacked me, he used the Crucio curse on me.' What! I hadn't expected that, oh God stupid bastard. I turned around to face Snape who was as always emotionless except he looked quite shocked at this.

'Malfoy and Blackthorn I think it best if you follow me to the Headmistresses office straight away.' Blackwood pushed past me and walked right beside Snape not saying a word. I followed behind silently what had just happened one moment I'm fine I passing my goals and getting on with life and then yet another obstacle.

As we entered the office we saw little had changed about it since Dumbledore's death a few minor changes here and there but nothing particularly noticeable.

Snape and McGonagall exchanged hushed whispers, Snape obviously recounting what he'd seen and been told. She looked shocked and then it turned to anger.

'Well Mr. Malfoy what have you got to say for yourself?' she asked sternly peering through her glasses.

'Professor I did not perform the Curciartus curse on anyone and never have' Blackthorn snorted at this. ' Blackthorn provoked me, and has been ever since the start of term. I did however perform Explearmus and I'm sorry for that.'

'No way Professor I was only speaking the truth and if Mr. Malfoy can't control himself then he's a menace – '

'That's enough Mr. Blackthorn, I don't believe that Mr. Malfoy performed and unforgivable curse on you. But attacking a classmate in any situation is wrong it Mr. Blackthorn was provoking you, you should've come straight to me. Ten points each from Slytherin and detention for both this coming Thursday, it's the first day and your already in trouble how disappointing.' She shook her head.

Being dismissed we walked back to the dungeons and entered the common room, I didn't look at anyone and I didn't say anything I walked purposefully up to my dorm and sat on my bed. I punched my pillow in frustration and lay down why couldn't anything go right? Why couldn't I have controlled my temper?

I sighed and reached for my new spell book and began to read, leaning my back against the headboard as I began to read. But I was soon too tired to carry on and fell asleep fully clothed with the book resting on my chest.

That was when the nightmares started…

AN/ Hope u like, poor Draco will he ever find true friendship and happiness? Please review!


	4. Chapter 4 Part one

Chapter 4 : Part one

AN. Sorry about the underlining in chapter one. This is chapter 4 hope u like it if u have any thoughts R&R!!

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Warner **

I was standing in a gloomy corridor an eerie silence surrounding me, I slowly walked forward the corridor appeared to stretch on for miles in front of me. It was so gloomy that my eyes could only pick out a few details of the corridor I was freezing the temperature made me feel even more isolated. 

I wondered if I should call out to the darkness, but I was so full of adrenaline that when I opened my mouth no sound escaped. An eerie silence surrounded me as the darkness did. 

Slowly I reached for my wand , surprisingly I found myself in my nightclothes but my wand was still there I pulled it out and held it weakly in front of me I was shaking, out fear or the cold it wasn't quite clear. 

I had to move, I had to do something other than standing shivering in a gloomy corridor. I crept slowly forward wand at the ready then stopped I listened to the darkness but this time there was something other than an eerie silence the sound of voices where was it coming from? Bodiless whispers that seemed to come from all around me, what where they saying? 

Angry and menacing, I quickly looked behind me nobody there 'hello' I whispered getting no response I carried on down the corridor which seemed never ending but eventually did. Peeking my face around the corner I saw a large wooden door the whispers had faded but two very clear voices where coming from behind the door. 

But there was another choice that I could make, two other corridors either side of the wooden door one had a dark green light the other a bright yellow light the safer option would the wooden door. I slowly walked toward the door taking care but then I noticed that my feet where bare I put my ear to the door.

The voices faded everything went dark, my mark burned then an overwhelming feeling of sorrow overtook me every sad or horrible event that'd happen in my life flashed before me I did my best to turn around three Dementors standing more floating in a line swung round the corner and came to stand still. I could hear something someone or something was coming down the corridor I'd started in the clanking of chains could be heard then it came around the corner.

Ten feet tall in long hooded cloak, holding a staff face covered by the hood, the stench of death and pain surrounding me, I finally worked up the courage to say something.

'Who…are you?' my voice trembled. 

For a moment there was silence, then the figure let out a soft chuckle.

'Don't you know?' I shook my head the figure walked slowly forward, before I could react it took my arm 'I'm death and I'm coming for you!' a flash of green light a scream and blackness…

I woke drenched in sweat the book dropped to the floor, sitting bolt upright breathing hard to my relief I'm in my own bed thank God but what the hell did that dream mean? 

I looked around the dorm it was empty except for me, it was a Saturday not just any normal Saturday but a Hogmeade Saturday I checked the time…ten which means everyone's already about an hour ago. I could still I suppose but instead I decided I this was a perfect opportunity to reflect and think without the distraction of other getting in my way. 

Buttoning up my shirt I looked of the window down to the grounds of the school, it was a perfect sunny day a good day for a walk. After I'd brushed my teeth and put my shoes on. For the first time this term I was in a relaxed and good mood, as I stepped out and into the grounds. I was trying to remember what had happened in my dream last night, what had it meant? 

I walked for a long time, until Hogwarts castle seemed very small my eyes took in the landscape they never had before really. I'd always been to busy to admire the view that surrounded my but now that there was no distractions I walked to the edge of the forbidden forest there sat an old swing hung between two trees I hesitantly sat on it when it held I opened my bag an pulled out my journal and my quill. 

I decided to write as much of the nightmare as I could remember in this journal, it might just be some twisted dream or it could actually mean some thing….

AN Sorry I've not updated for ages, anyway chp. 4 part 2 will becoming shortly….


	5. Chapter 4 part two

Chapter 4, part 2

Chapter 4, part 2

AN/ sorry for the wait I've been busy, but here it is…

Disclaimer: I own nothing

The next mourning I woke in a cold sweat breathing heavily, this had been caused by the same nightmare every part of it had played out the same as before, but this time I'd managed to actually knock on the large wooden door before any answer could be heard the same clanking dark figure came round the corner there was a flash of green light a menacing laugh and then I was back in my dorm.

Sunday, traditionally a day of rest well except for Quddich matches of course, luckily it wasn't my team playing today it was a match between Grifindor and Ravenclaw the first of the new term, so both teams would be seeking the first victory for themselves.

I hadn't really thought about whether I should attend, I mean how much fun would it be standing there feeling isolated from the rest of my house, while they booed and chanted at the Grindors?

What else could I do? But then for once in my life I worked up some courage and decided that would show my face and act as if nothing was wrong, but everything in my life at the moment is wrong, I totally on my own there's no one to turn to not that there ever really was, Crabbe, Goyle and the rest of my house only respected me because of my fathers connections with the Dark Lord how could I hope to gain respect when I was being such a wimp.

I took a deep breath and walked purposefully down to the pitch, others in jubilant mood rushed past me hoping to get a good place. Paranoia was trying to take over me as every whisper and every raised voice seemed to be aimed at me, but I knew that they probably weren't.

I forgot to mention that in two weeks time some exchange students from America will be visiting Hogwarts, all wizards and witches of course no muggles. It might be a chance meet new people, I'm sure that the reputation of me or my farther has not reached that far. They'll be staying for two months and will attend all classes, so fingers crossed that I'll be able get along with some of them.

I must remember hold my tongue be a bit more subtle if irritated or upset, angry outbursts do nothing for my image and won't give a good impression.

'Watch where your going Malfoy' I came back to the real world and the reality that I was walking very slowly in some sort of daze, I had to stop doing that and I will personality kill myself if I starts having conversations with myself.

This was the first time that I'd really been happy since I can remember, the excitement and the atmosphere around the stadium was magic, crowds cheering and my house already jeering our rivals I joined in, I stopped thinking that they'd all give me a black look for joining in but instead some smiled and other carried of their chants as did I resume mine.

But it didn't last long, as I was standing amongst the crowd letting out the occasional insult, something caught my eye standing across the other side of pitch in the shadow of one of the high stands reserved for professors and other vips stood the creature of my nightmare long floating black clock, the heavy jangling chains, the whole menacing look.

I starred and then looked around but no one else seemed to notice. His cold unhuman voice was inside my head…

'Hello little wizard, are you shocked? Did you really this I was just a nightmare? Very foolish' This can't be happening I thought, you're just seeing things he's not really there just ignore him.

A cold laugh seemed too fill my mind. 'I am real boy, and this is happening'

'What do you want?' everyone near me stopped chanting and looked me I wondered why but then realised that I'd said it our loud, I was going mad I knew it I'd been in St. Margos before you could say Neville Longbottom.

'You're not mad, well at least not as mad as I am' the creature paused 'I'm here to help you boy trust me. You'll do as I say and everything you want can be yours, tonight I will come to you in your dreams again and this time you won't wake up you'll listen to what I have to say and you'll reveal what's behind that door understand?'

This is insane, you mustn't agree to this, you…but the creature had a hold on my mind and in a moment of weakness 'Yes.' The creature let out another hollow laugh and then vanished.

'The match is over you know Draco.' I heard sweet and dreamy voice say, I looked around the stadium was largely empty now, Loony Lovegood staring up at the sky an looking at me with misty blue eyes.

'Oh, hello Luna.' I said politely her expression didn't really change, a slight note of shock perhaps? I hadn't previously taken much of note of her, Loony Lovegood was what everyone called her I suppose because she acted rather oddly and was a bit of a flake I could've been really nasty to her, could have even ignored her but this was a new start and it begins today.

'Are you lonely?' she asked as we walked and sat down on a bench just outside the court yard. How could I answer that? I could lie and say no, that I was fine and didn't need her sympathy or I could tell her the truth who would she tell?

'Yes to be honest I fell isolated from everyone in the school, none of my 'friends' will talk to me the same with the rest of them. Most of them civil enough but nothing more just civil and sometimes less than that.'

Luna listened and nodded her sympathy, I carried on ' my father's in prison and is by now a quivering wreck and mother won't even speak to me, and with Dark Mark still slapped on my wrist, my life is crap.'

'Don't say that Draco, there are other with worst lives than you.' She put her hand on my arm I was about to shake her off, but I had a feeling that another one of my oh so angsty episodes, I felt tears threatening to flow from my eyes at any moment no I can't be weak and pathetic I quickly managed to correct myself.

I looked up at Luna who was giving me a sympathising smile. 'Thank you Luna, I must get back inside it's rather chilly.' She let go of my arm and stood up 'See you later Draco and will a batter of her lashes she skipped off humming some random tune.

I smiled, I wasn't entirely alone it would take some time but I had a good feeling that thing would soon be going my way. But then it all came back to me, the creature of nightmare and I'd agreed to, why exactly had I agreed to? I know I just stay up all night no need for sleep drink plenty off coffee and read spell books that way the menacing creature couldn't get to me or could it?

The rest of the passed with relative peace and boredom, I went to the library and read some more of my advanced spell books, went for a long around the grounds the castle and then settled myself in usual place beside the fire of the common room.

Remembering to drink as much coffee as I could get my hands on, to keep myself awake, I with legs crossed on my four poster bed, fully clothed resting my back against the headboard I soon got bored of my spell books and sighed what could I do with myself for eight hours?

But before I could do anything more, my eye lids became heavy what? No this can't happen I'm not tiered I've drank load of coffee I should be running about the school like a loon not drifting into a nightmare!

I could do nothing to stop it…

An/ Reviews are nice!


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I remembered what the creature has said to me, the promise it had made that I'd find out what was behind that door if I listened to him but how could I trust him the answer was that I couldn't and that I should have been stronger and said no I would no longer be used for evil pulling back my sleeve I was given a reminder of my past and what could've been even with the one that had given it to me gone forever it remained a permanent reminder of what I nearly became a murderer.

That single word murderer was so powerful, my farther was one in fact most of the people I'd known grown up with had been on way or another. That didn't mean murder was right. Another thing I'd grown up with was the teaching that muggles or non-magic people where scum and inferior to our kind our kind being pureblood wizards. I still hated them because I didn't know anything else but now it was a mental hatred rather than torturing and killing them hate.

For some reason I was totally exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open, which was strange because I hadn't really done anything today. After the match I returned to the common room Snape had given us a load of homework the first lesson of the term. Nothing much had happed as for my new enemy, he sat with my old friends where I used it I didn't look at them but I could hear them laughing and talking loudly to make sure everyone heard their conversation and then I remembered that today was Thursday the day of the detention.

Before I knew it Greg and his gang where standing in front of me, 'Time for detention Malfoy.' He sneered and then stalked off while his minions waved good-bye. This wasn't going to be easy but I just had to get through one detention.

By the time I'd worked my way down to Snape's classroom Greg was there already sitting at the front desk quill in hand like a good little boy as I closed the door behind me he looked back and gave me a mocking tut of disapproval.

'Your late again Mr Malfoy, sit.' I quickly did as I was told and nervously waited for Snape to tell us what he was going to make us do.

'I suppose you two are wondering that I have planned for you? Well I want you to simply write me lines saying ' I will not be a nuisance' say about a thousand times using my special quills of course.' I thought about asking what makes them special but thought better of it as the best thing I could right now was keep my mouth shut.

But Greg had different ideas 'professor what exactly makes them special?' he asked smugly, Snape surprised by the question raised an eyebrow and gave a malevolent

grin for a second and then returned to his normal expression of eerie emotionless.

'You'll see once you start writing Mr Blackthorn.' Greg mumbled and then began to write as soon as he did he dropped the quill and grabbed his hand, Snape looked up from his desk ' is something wrong Mr Blackthorn? Would you like another thousand lines?' Greg picked his quill up and resumed writing his face an angry grimace, Snape looked and me and then pointed silently to the quill and paper.

Taking a deep breath I picked up the quill, nothing happened but when I started writing I nearly fell out of my chair with the shock, the pain was intense I thought I'd never experienced pain worse than it but then I remembered being tortured with the Cruciatus when I failed to kill Dumbledore or when I stupidly answered back to the dark lord.

But when I recovered and started to write again there was nothing, I looked at Greg he was alright just writing as fast as he could and then again he shouted out in the pain of the shock. I realised that the quill gave you shock every ten minutes so you had to write as much as could in that time before you got another shock, this motivated me into action.

Two hour later and another awful of painful shocks later, I dropped my paper at Snape's desk. Looking back to Greg who'd just recived another shock, I smirked as I walked past him on my way out , he looked up. He was struggling to keep his cool. One triumph over my new rival and I'd remind at the nearest opurtunity.

But my high soon came crashing down when I remembered what event was going to place tonight. Even if I didn't want to get involved with this dark creature I had to sleep eventually did I really want to see what was behind that door no I didn't want get involved with whatever was trying pull me in. I was scared the creature seemed to have gotten under my skin I knew I had to fight it but could I? I didn't even know what I was dealing with.

As was walking back to the common room feeling a complete mess, I wanted be alone away from the whole school but as I turned around the corner a sound caught my attention. Sniffling, someone was crying sitting with her head in her hands shoulders shaking. I recognised her mudblood… I mean Granger. She didn't look up as I approached, I hesitated I didn't know what to say to her maybe she wanted to be along. But I had and overwhelming need to stop her weeping however much we hated each other and believe me I still hated her but I this was a new beginning.

'Hey Granger what's the matter.' I tried to say it as gently as possible but I didn't get to close. She took her hands away from her eye but kept her head down, 'What do you want _Malfoy_? Have you come here to mock me?' she signed with irritation she wanted to be alone and so did I, now before you start thinking that we suddenly sparked some kind of losers club romance that's not going to happen.

'No don't be ridiculous Granger, you're making a scene.' she pushed her hair back to reveal her tear-stained face, which broke into a small smile there was a certain air of discomfort around the situation at that moment.

'I guess your right, what are you doing wondering around at this hour?'

' I lost my temper with someone and got a detention, what are smirking at? I asked why was she smirking at me, her weeping had seized which lessened the irritation of her almost mocking gaze. She'd clearly got no sleep and had been crying for certain amount of time signs of fatigue where clearly shown by her expression.

'Sorry Malfoy I can just imagine you losing your temper with someone, presumably this was a battle of words I can hardly imagine you in a duel or fist fight.' She let out a small chuckle. 'Well if must know I did use my wand and managed to attack him with a well aimed Explearmus actually Granger, but that's not important what where you crying about?' I tried not to sound to concerned really I didn't really care but my curiosity got the better of me.

'Not that you care but I got attacked today.' I was shocked attacked? Why would anyone want to attack Granger ok she's a mudblood, a smart ass and a general pain in the side but that's not enough motive to attack her maybe the use of the word attack is overdramatic she look fine apart from looking a little shaken.

'Who was it?' I asked, she stayed silent and broke down in tears again, maybe I'd said the wrong thing I stood up and shuffled. I decided to distance myself from he I didn't want to become too involved in this may sound cowardly but you've got to remember that I still hate her even with the death eaters no more.

'I don't know his name but, he's a member of your house in our year I think new student just moved here I think, he slapped me and then tripped me over so that I landed in the mud thankfully it was dry but still got a few bruises.' It was then I realised her clothes were covered with dry mud and a small bruise on her left cheek.

'Oh did you know what he looked like?' I asked maybe if I knew who it was I could report them, call it my good deed for the day. 'Um, tall black hair sneering ugly face you know him?'

That description sounded exactly like Blackthorn, the bastard sounds like the sort of thing he'd do, ha an opportunity for another victory against my new enemy I had a feeling that I was on some sort of roll here.

'Hello? Are you listening to me? Do you know him?' I seemed to be doing a lot this drifting into my own world of deep thought. 'Sorry…yea I do know who it is but can I ask you a question?' she gave a slight nod ' how come your out here on your own where's Potter and Weasly? I mean I have an excuse for wandering around by myself because everyone's shunning me but …' I couldn't think how to end that sentence so I trailed off into silence waiting for her to say something.

'Well I wanted to keep it to myself really, but I suppose should really.' She sniffed recovering herself and standing up. 'So you'll be ok? Not that I care but don't want your wailing keeping up at night.'

We said our good byes and parted after I'd told to report Greg and after some convincing she agreed.

I was feeling pretty good about myself until I remembered what was going to happeb when I went to sleep….


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Chapter 6, part one

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and stuff belong to the gr8 J.K Rowling I get nothing from this just a bit of fun

This time there was no waiting around. I standing in total blackness I could barely see my hands in front of my face, even though I couldn't see anyone else wherever I was I somehow knew that I wasn't alone.

'Hello is anyone there I think there's been some sort of mistake I can't help you.' I tried to sound strong but I ended up sounding feeble and pathetic.

'There's been no mistake young Malfoy, and there's no going back.' A sinister voice came out of the darkness and surrounded me. I felt like crying I couldn't cope with this I sniffed but held my tears back, be brave I told myself.

The voice laughed at me as if it had read my thoughts.

'Bravery eh? That's something that you'll never have or need, join me'

And then it hit me, what did this creature man whatever stand for? I mean despite his sinister appearance and voice he might actually not be evil it's a slim chance…

'Um can I ask a…question?' I stuttered, even if I wanted move I couldn't have either from fear or some spell that the creature had put on me I was frozen where I stood.

Again he or it seemed to find this amusing.

'Of course you may, anything' I thought for a moment wondering how to word my many questions um…? I just say it already

'What's your aim?'

It's cold the room wherever I am it's cold as death my feat are bare, I'm standing on a cold stone floor, there's total silence but somehow know he's still there. Know that I think about it the question I asked sounded stupid he'd probably laugh at me again I didn't care I wanted answers from this mysterious darkness.

'My aim? You say what's my aim? A wise question to ask but one that I can't answer for the moment but what I can say is since the Dark Lords fall the muggle lovers and mudbloods have been able to do as they wish, why should we hide from the scum we are the more powerful I will become the new dark lord but I will succeed!'

Great another dark lord, killing and ciaos blah blah… I could've gone but then I remembered he could hear my thoughts and quickly silenced them. I wanted this end I wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

There was silence. Utter unnerving silence, was I alone at last or was he still there suddenly something changed in the room or wherever I was shook violently I tried to find something to hold onto but the room appeared to be empty, then rhythmic thump like drums with the same beat over and over again in my head I fell to my knees something seemed to sucking whatever strength I had in me away until I couldn't move just before it went black the voice spoke to me.

'You have potential young Malfoy, your previous master didn't manage to help achieve all that you could he underestimated you till next time boy…'

And with that he was gone and I was back in my room yet again, the sheets twisted around my body which was drenched in sweat, my heart thudding in my chest how could I stop this from happening? I remember my farther and the dark lord talking about something like this mind invasion, but why was it me? What was special about me? Well of course I'm special exceptional that goes without saying…still these little night time visits were starting to piss me off, I'd just started to get my life back on track getting away from dark wizards, I thought that it'd stop after Voldermort but apparently I was wrong.

That was all but forgotten by the afternoon as the foreign exchange students finally arrived, I wasn't expecting any miracles but thought maybe because they didn't know me or the dark stuff that I'd been involved in that I wouldn't be sitting on my own at lunch.

I couldn't stop staring, I stood there like an idiot she was amazing dark wavy hair, purple streaks those amazing eyes sure she wasn't the little miss bitchy popular but that wasn't what I was looking for at the moment if I was looking at all.

She did something that nobody had done in a long time she smiled at me, that's all just a simple a sincere smile, that's the moment that I knew I must every chance I got try and make conversation with her.

Things were going so well that day that I didn't have to wait long for that moment, and yes I know you were looking for angst you dark creatures but things were finally looking up for once. It was during first period, Magic history…snore she came in there where only two seats left the one next to me and the one next to Neville.

She looked at me I looked away noticing that I'd been staring, I opened the dusty book in front of me and pretended to be engrossed in a very interesting not volume.

'Hello? Is it ok if I sit here?' What lovely voice I thought and almost fell out of my chair as I looked to find her standing at my desk her loaded bag slung on her shoulder and a pile of books in her arms.

'Yes of course Draco Malfoy by the way, and you are?' She smiled pleasantly at dropped her bag on the floor and her books on the desk before sitting down.

'I'm Amber Becker so what's the teacher like?'

'Boring as teachers come.'

'So we can walk and pass notes and the professor won't even notice.' Amber asked.

These were the first friendly words I had since the beginning of the term, it wasn't small talk _Don't get ahead of yourself _I thought she's only looked at you a few times and this is the first time she'd spoken to you.

'Hello Draco?'

I then realised I'd been staring into space like an idiot.

'Oh sorry, yes we can.'

We both smiled as we got out our spell books, then Professor Bins came in floating in droning something about medieval witches and that's when Amber passed me the first note.

It read…

_Meet me in the school grounds after supper? _

This sounded suspiciously like she was asking me on a date, was she or was she just being friendly? If she was just being friendly then it wouldn't just be the two of us would it?

I passed a note back to her. She looked at me then smiled, the note read : _Sounds great about 6 ?_

I got through a whole day of school with relative ease, hardly anyone shouted anything at me I didn't see that great idiot Greg and his hoard of followers. And Saint Potter didn't try to unload any charity or pity on me and I met a really nice girl who asked on a date, not in so many words but I knew.

There was also the excitement of sneaking out to meet her, the common room was crowded no one would even noticed I left. That thought was a little depressing but when I thought of the reason I was sneaking out I felt a lot better.

As I came round the corner I saw her, sitting on one of the many benches. She heard my footsteps and turned around seeing whom it was she smiled and patted the space next to her on the bench.

'I was afraid you wouldn't show, but I'm glad you did.'

I almost thought about kissing her hand, but then chickened out what if I'd got the wrong impression and maybe she think I 'm being too keen or whatever. I'd never worried about these things before. I was usually too busy serving the Dark Lord and climbing the ranks of the Death Eaters to think about love.

But now I could and it was great or I hoped it would be.

'So am I…' I trailed off lamely not knowing what to say. An awkward

silence fell between us.

'Um so –

'Well –

'You go first' we said in unison then laughing together, what a beautiful smile she had.

'So what's it like at your school back home?' I asked.

It sounded like Hogwarts but better. They learned more advanced spells and started at age ten instead of twelve so she had an extra two years ahead of me. Anyway she was going on describing all the wonderful details of where she grew up and different sorts of trouble she and her friends used to get into. I was listening but it might not have looked like that to an outside observer, as I didn't take my eyes off Amber for a second.

I watched her prefect lips as she spoke and then looked deeply into her bright emerald eye, if someone else had been there they would have thought I was staring at her and not hearing a word she was saying. But I was listening to every word she said until…

'So what about you?' She asked.

Oh my God I thought what could I tell her? The truth? No of course not she'd run away and never speak to me again, but I couldn't lie to her so I decided to tell Amber the truth but leaving out some of the more disturbing memories of my past.

'Draco is something wrong? I mean if you don't want to talk about I understand. But I want to know you better.' Amber said with a strange but beautiful look of curiosity and concern.

'No nothings wrong Amber, it's fine but there's some things in my past that aren't very pretty and I'd prefer to keep to myself if that's ok with you?'

'Sure, only tell me stuff about you that you want to.' Amber smiled encouragingly at me and nodded for me to carry on, so I did.

' My farther used to work for the Ministry of Magic and the board of governors to the school, me and my mother live in a comfortable home in Wiltshire, um…and I play for the quddich team I'm a seeker, my wands made from Hawthorn and unicorn hair what's yours? ' I replied trying my best to give her a genuine smile, it wasn't very hard to do because I couldn't help but smile when I was with her.

Amber was silent in thought for a moment trying to remember what her wand was made of then after pursing her lips and putting her finger to her lips she smiled.

'I remember now it's made from ravens feather and peacock feathers, can I ask you a question Draco?'

'Sure.' I replied, I couldn't help but smile as I looked into her beautiful emerald eye.

Oh bloody hell I'm going soft and all lovey dovey. So this was what it felt like to let someone in, to form a proper attachment to someone. I may have let my guard down a little but mu heart wasn't breeched yet.

'You've heard of wizards and witches being able to turn into animals, to have a…animargus? We'll I thought I should tell you that I am one.' She said excitedly.

This was interesting new as I'd heard that it took of skill to master the transformations and learn how to master it, but I'd never really thought of becoming one myself. But now that I had it seemed like a very appealing idea. To become an animal but this worried as I remembered being humiliated in front of my classmates the ferret incident. Yes I wouldn't forget that in hurry and neither would those who had witnessed it.

What if I did all this training and hard work and my animargus turn out to be a ferret?

'Really? I heard it takes some years to learn that skill.' I raising a questioning eye brow and then before she could answer me I thought of the most obvious question to ask.

'So what is yours? I mean what can you turn into?' I said awkwardly.

A nervous look came over as if she was ashamed of something, maybe she thought I'd laugh at what she was or mock her but I would never. So I smiled reassuringly and nodded for her to go on.

'Well I can turn into a unicorn – '

'Really?!' I said interrupting her, I'd obviously heard of people turning into all sorts of animals but never mystical creatures like unicorns.

But just as Amber was about to reply and haunting sound came to our ears, at first it was just a manic and bitter laugh but then it stopped. Pure silence me and Amber both stood deadly still frozen in fear.

'What…is it Draco?' Amber whispered her voice quivering, she suddenly grabbed my hand in hers if it hadn't been for the fear factor I would have been extremely happy at this but as luck would have it…

The next thing we heard was a voice, but to me it was a dreaded and all too familiar voice.

'Draco…Draco… you disobeyed me…Draco…I shall kill her…love only gets in the way…'

Before I could register this warning there was a flash of movement and light.

That was the last I knew before it all when black…

A/N I'm so sorry this has taken me so long, but I hope you'll read and enjoy and be patient with me 


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